The key service this week discovered a small bag of cocaine on the White Home. This can be a large deal—any mysterious powder discovered close to the president can be, and if the Biden administration is secretly a coked-up bacchanal as an alternative of a bunch of center-left technocrats, we’d all have the fitting to be alarmed or impressed. However the particulars surrounding the blow at The Bidens’ might level to a a way more mundane state of affairs.
Proper now we’re in that liminal house between preliminary stories of “medicine discovered on the White House” and concrete particulars from the police investigation, so the knowledge vacuum is inspiring fanciful takes from everybody with a political axe to grind. Twitter, Fb, Reddit, YouTube, and possibly MySpace are stuffed with wild hypothesis and outright lies concerning the state of affairs, in addition to “it’s clearly not an enormous deal” takes. None of those is right, as a result of we simply don’t know.
The cocaine was not present in a personal space of the White Home
Preliminary stories that the medicine have been present in a library on the White Home have been later walked again by the Secrete Service. In keeping with The Man, the bag of medicine was not present in a personal space of the White Home or the dwelling quarters of anybody named “Biden.”
In keeping with a Secret Service official, the medicine have been discovered within the West Wing, “close to an entrance the place guests taking excursions are directed to go away their telephones,” This is a vital distinction as a result of medicine discovered the place D.C. vacationers drop their baggage might have belonged to some doughnut who took the White Home tour, as an alternative of a member of our authorities. (Members of our authorities would by no means do medicine.)
Did the cocaine belong to Joe Biden?
We don’t truly know whose cocaine it was. The Secret Service will not be ruling out any White Home personnel, visitors or guests, however Diamond Joe appears an unlikely perpetrator. He’s slightly previous for rails of coke, and anyway, the primary household was at Camp David for the July 4 weekend, and the medicine have been found on Sunday night. It’s “inconceivable” that cocaine might sit across the White Home for over 72 hours and never be found, in accordance with Former White Home press secretary Kayleigh McEnany. Even when he’s dwelling, I doubt the president is within the West Wing tour space of the White Home fairly often (until he wanders there).
Did the cocaine belong to Hunter Biden?
Whereas the president’s son does have a well-documented historical past of habit issues, so do lots of people. We will’t rule him or anybody out till the official investigation concludes, however Hunter wasn’t on the White Home over the weekend both.
Did a White Home staffer depart the cocaine?
These individuals do work lengthy hours…however we don’t know. White Home staffers are drug-tested too—not proof of something, but it surely factors away from a staffer.
Did a vacationer depart the coke within the West Wing?
In keeping with CBS Information, a number one idea amongst senior legislation enforcement officers is that the medicine got here from “a person on a White Home tour of the West Wing,” and I give that concept much more credence than the opinions of on-line wags.
We should always know quickly: The customer logs and digicam footage are being scrutinized by the authorities, so for those who’re questioning the place that bag of blow you have been planning to snort after your West Wing tour ran off to, I’d prepare for a go to from very critical males in fits within the coming weeks.
However what if the “officers from the White Home” are mendacity?
There’s no technique to inform whether or not the spokespeople from the White Home or the Secret Service are protecting up a drug downside within the Biden administration. They may very well be; minimizing, spinning, and outright lies are what individuals do once they’re caught. However alternatively, possibly it was planted by a political opponent of the Bidens? Possibly it’s all a set-up, the start of the “soiled tips” main as much as the 2024 presidential election? There’s no scarcity of examples of even worse issues being finished. And that is the issue with political scandals: You may imagine something you need when you low cost the official rationalization and use your creativeness.
Backside line: We don’t know (however probably the most boring rationalization might be right)
With any political scandal, it’s our intuition to leap to a conclusion based mostly on our biases. To me (and the cops wanting into it) probably the most logical rationalization for the cocaine is “some knucklehead on a White Home tour dropped a bag of dope,” however another person’s could be, “It’s clearly Hunter Biden!”
Proper now, neither aspect is true, and although the tourist-dropped-it rationalization is probably the most logical, it’s something however confirmed, and surprising issues occur on a regular basis.
It’s straightforward to really feel smug concerning the dumb shit “the opposite aspect” believes, however think about how Twitter would have reacted if coke was discovered within the White Home in the course of the Trump administration. It will have been simply as unbearable, however I nonetheless would have secretly thought, “Hm, maybe it was Don Jr.” As a substitute of “Joe Biden would by no means try this! He’s too previous and pleasant!” In actuality, the coin continues to be within the air. Till it lands on “heads” or “tails,” it’s finest to maintain an open thoughts.